Councellors
Submitted by chelsea_maree on Tue, 02/12/2008 - 10:34am.
Hi there,
I am wondering if anyone might be able to help. My husband is a home dad and is struggling with everyday life. I have two boys - 4 1/2yrs with HFA and a 1yo very active. I think my husband has aspergers (and he does too) as he and my eldest son are identical with alot of traits and my husband sees himself in our son.
I would like to know if anyone knows of a councellor around the coffs area; which knows and understands aspergers that I could see if my hubby will talk to to see if it helps him. we are going through medical testing at the moment to rule out any medication conditions that my be underlying.
Thanks for your time,
chelsea_maree
Hello, i have just joined.
McCombie reference
Counsellor
Hi Chelsea
I'd support Kerry's comments on the very positive aspect of your husband wanting to seek some form of help. Putting the ASD aside for just a moment, simply being a 'stay-at-home' parent comes with its' own stressors (e.g. isolation, same duties day-in & day-out, perceived lack of feeling appreciated etc.) that can lead to varying degress of depression and other feelings of ill health. When you add the difficulties that come with living with/having an ASD 'into the 'pot of life' then one would expect the stressors to mount much higher (for all parties in the household).
Your husband's negative response to a 'talk session' with the counsellor is also to be expected. Men are (mostly) more 'action' oriented and certainly men with an ASD respond much more positively to therapy with a skills training emphasis (for obvious reasons).
It could prove to be very useful for you to be a part of your husbands' initial interview with the psychologist (with your husbands' consent of course) as you probably have important information that your husband may 'forget' to discuss or he may not even see as important. Try chatting to your husband about this well before your appointment.
Wonder how you're coping through all of this? It might be useful for you also to consider seeking some form of support for yourself if you feel that you could benefit (if you have not already, of course).
Good Luck with it all
Jen
Councellors
Hi
It's great if your husband is able to recognise that there is a problem because that is the first and often the hardest step for them to take in order to get help. I found Ian McCombie from McCombie and associates to be very reliable in both assessing aspergers and then doing all the therapy that is needed to help everyone to cope with the problems. It may take a little while to get in to see Ian but it is worth the wait for him to be the one to talk to. Also take along any reports or notes you have written down yourself, writing a history and an idea of why you are there can be helpful on the day because if you are like me you can get very teary to finally get some answers and everything that you wanted to say goes out the window.
Good Luck
Kerry,Thanks for your
Kerry,
Thanks for your advice. I will definitely look into him. My hubby has been to a councillor before but he felt they didn't understand him and were a waste of time - told him he had depression but offered no further assistance except to try and talk; hubby wanted solutions/ actions to fix it not to "talk". So as you can imagine, that went down like a lead balloon resulting in further distancing himself. lol He often says that he is fine and that its society that needs help.
Once again thanks for your help.
Kind regards
chelsea
Just a comment
Well, isn't that a typical Aspie reply?
I, too have an Aspie hubby, but mine refuses to believe it, even though his eldest son is just like him and diagnosed!
Yours in Ongoing Chaos, Michelle T "Everything that is normal... only to the extreme" (Tony Attwood)